Ahhh… honesty. It can be the most refreshing part of a healthy relationship. It can also be the thing that fractures a relationship beyond repair if it isn’t taken seriously. But is there such a thing as too much honesty? Do you have to disclose everything to your significant other? And when is it appropriate to confess certain things? For example – do I need to tell someone on the first date that I’ve never been in a serious relationship? Do you have to tell someone up front right away if you’re divorced? If you live with your parents? If you are unemployed? If you’re an atheist? If you’re gonna vote for Obama (and you like to dance to Madonna?*). Yes, yes, yes. Wouldn’t you want to know about someone’s core values upfront if you were looking to possibly procreate and spend the rest of your days with them? I would. I am clearly not a dating expert. However, what I do know is that I really feel you should meet someone in person (or at least communicate with them in some form or fashion) before delving in to any of the following:
“Good Evening how are you? im John nice to meet you loved your profile. Heres alittle about myself and my family, i have 1 older sister she is 32 and is married and was born in xxxxxx, xx but lives here and is expecting on december 28th her husband xxxx and her first child. my sister Xxxxx works from home as a computer programmer for a company in Xxxxx, XX and her husband Xxxx works as a middle school teacher for a christian school. my parents have been married for 40+ years and my dad works as a director with construction at a assisted living community were his mom my grandmother lives so he gets to see her and have lunch with her from day to day, my dad was born in Xxxxxx also. my mom is retired was a RN nurse for 25+ years but as of 8 years ago has had to retire early due to a dibilitating disease. So i help my dad out with her alot cause she looses her balance and falls alot. I am going to school online for graphics design and wanna start fire fighting academy hopefully soon, i build pool cages and screened in lanais for a job now have been doing that on and off for quite some time now. I was born 4 months premature and weighed only 2 lbs. when i was born and had to be at a childrens hospital for awhile but born and raised in Xxxxxx, XX. I enjoy working out 3 to 4 times a week, going dancing even though i stink at it always wanted to learn salsa or swing,i enjoy any kind of music but listen to as of late country and rock, i like all kinds of movies too,also enjoy going to football and baseball and hockey games,the beach day or night,running,anything outdoors from camping to playing sports to fishing love saltwater fishing too. well thats all alittle about myself and my family. Enjoy….. feel free to contact me 555-555-5555 . friend is having a bbq on saturday for the game was wondering if you wanna come? – John Smith”
I have never, ever, seen, winked at, emailed, spoken to, or communicated with this person before at all. I did not know he existed until I opened this email. Good L0rd I don’t think even my best friend in the whole world knows that much about me. This is also clearly a form letter that he probably cuts and pastes to everyone he emails. Don’t you at least want to know my first name before you feel comfortable enough to tell me that you struggled through your first few days of life in the NICU? And NO – no, I do not want to go to a BBQ with you and your friends on Saturday. What if (haha) he sent this to 5 different girls and they all responded yes? So while I appreciate his attempt at being honest, there is, in fact, such a thing as too much. And too soon. And then you just come off as creepy. This is conversation material for date 5. Or maybe 6. What do I know? I haven’t gotten that far in a while. But this is absolutely T.M.I. for an initial internet dating email, Mr. Smith.
So in the spirit of the season, I bid R.I.P. to my internet dating adventure. My membership is up and I think I would lose my remaining self respect if I resubscribed. Maybe I’ll go back to relying on my friends to set me up. Maybe I’ll go back to hoping I’ll meet someone at the gym. (Which would mean I’d have to actually pull my headphones blaring *Scissor Sisters lyrics out of my ears- and who wants to do that?) Maybe I’ll go back to imagining I’ll run in to the man of my dreams in the grocery store. Maybe I’ll go back to thinking it’s possible to meet someone in a bar…
I’m just going to be single forever.