I’m not sure than an intangible object can actually sustain an injury, but my ego definitely feels bruised today.
It’s been a lot more fun to write about the guys who are creepy, crazy, or childish. It’s also made for some good stories to write about the guys who have actually asked me out. But there’s one guy who I haven’t mentioned because until now there was nothing blog-worthy about him. Since they all need a nickname, we’ll call him “State.” He works for one of the local universities in the IT department. IT guys get tagged with the nerd-stereotype, but I’m a closet Star Wars fan so who am I to judge? So State and I have been emailing back and forth pretty much since week 1. He has about 8 pictures up and none of them include a bathroom mirror, peace sign, or dead animal. There are 2 pictures of him doing some kind of obstacle-course race, so fitness seems important to him. Which we like. His emails have been well written and engaging. He likes sports, seems to be a pretty laid back guy, and definitely has a sense of humor. Our emails started to get pretty lengthy because we were responding to each other’s questions and asking more. After about 9 or 10 of these exchanges I made a comment that maybe his next questions would be better answered in person, otherwise I’d end up writing him a novel. He agreed and asked if I wanted to meet for dinner or drinks when I got back from my trip last weekend. So I responded on Monday (a week ago today), and said that would be great and that I was free Friday or Sunday if either of those days worked for him. He NEVER wrote back. Ouch!
Before you ask – yes – he got my email. The website tells you how recently the person has logged on so I’m sure he saw it. I totally get that when you engage in the online-dating-experiment that you have to assume that anyone you are talking to is also talking to 5 other people. That’s just how it works. You don’t always get responses to emails, winks, or indications of interest. But this guy asked me out. I may not be an expert when it comes to dating, but I’m pretty sure that “let me know if you want to grab dinner or drinks” is in fact an invitation? If he ended up having a connection with someone else – great! Good for him! Maybe that means this can actually work. But at least have the courtesy to respond and tell me you changed your mind. Or you’re not free this weekend. Or GFY. Tell me something. Especially since we both put so much time and effort in to 3 weeks worth of emails. Bad form, Sir.
Another lovely feature of said website is that it allows you to send a “polite no-thank-you” email to someone who contacts you. I haven’t been very pro-active about searching for other guys that maybe haven’t shown up in my daily list yet, but I decided to try that last week just to see who was out there. It was more of the usual, but there were maybe 3 people that I winked at, just to see what would happen. I opened my email box yesterday to find the following email: “HJudd888 appreciates your taking the time to let him know you’re interested, but he doesn’t think you’re a good match for him. Don’t be discouraged. Magic happens when you least expect it. With millions of singles out there, you could be just one click way from finding someone who’s right for you.” First of all…. Ouch. And second…. Really??
I don’t usually send the “polite-no-thank-you” email. I, personally, would rather get no response at all than the website generated dis above. So when I get emails from guys I am not interested in, I go with the “if you don’t have anything nice to say…” approach. Which is how I handled one particular email from XFitGuy. He wrote: “Please don’t think of me as being pushy… not at all. Just, I like to get to know you. I think we can get along quite well. We have much in common. Would you like to talk?” Eh, thx, but no thanks XFitGuy. You would think that by me not emailing him back he would take a hint. Maybe he did… but that didn’t stop him from sending this email a week later: “Well… I guess this is when two hearts are failing toward becoming one…”
The understatement of the year.
I’m going to be single forever.