Today I’m shifting from dating mode to detective mode.
One of the many features of this website that is taking up way too much of my time is that it allows you to see who has looked at your profile. This means anyone who clicked on your pictures or your “about me” section, even if they decided not to contact you. Most of the time I’m ok with that, but occasionally I’ll come across a guy who has viewed me but not contacted me that I would actually be interested in. Which got me thinking… what other options do they have? I know everyone is looking for something different, and not everyone is attracted to the same thing, but what else is out there? What kind of girls are on this site that I’m ‘competing’ against? Granted, it’s not a true competition like an episode of The Bachelor where we are all fighting for the same man, but these guys do have hundreds of other options and I was really curious to see what these other girls were putting out there. What are they doing differently than I am? Also, what makes women’s profiles different than the thousands of men’s profiles I’ve gone through?
My first problem was that I couldn’t just go searching for girls through my log-in. They’d see that I viewed them, and that would be creepy and weird. So one of my guy friends who is also on the site was kind enough to give me his info so I could search as him, provided I promised not to chat with any girls while I was logged in. (Personally I thought it would make for some more comical writing material, but he was doing me a favor so I couldn’t push it). Commence recon mission as ‘GolferUSC.’
I should probably clarify what I was expecting to find by doing this. I had a feeling most of the girls would have bikini pictures, tons of cleavage and tight clothes, gold-digging mentalities, lengthy profiles that used emoticons after every sentence and excessive use of the word “like.” It was supposed to end up being a really funny post where I could just make fun of them for attempting to attract men using the wrong kind of attention-getting tactics, and put them in the same category as their white-sunglass-wearing male counterparts. Well…not so fast my friend. My second problem with the detective attempt was that I was surprisingly very, very wrong. I started with age as the first criteria, putting in late 20’s and early 30’s to be close to my own. I took out the smokers (of course), chose women who at least had a bachelor’s degree, and put in a small 5 mile radius around my zip code. I tried to look for those who would be as similar to me as possible without getting too specific. I got over 100 matches. I found one, just one, girl who had a full bikini picture posted. Only 1 bathroom mirror picture, and 2 over-the-top boob pictures. Hmm… maybe it’s because of the age demographic? So I started to read some of the profiles. They were… shocking. Well written, succinct, emoticon-free, and confident. These girls know what they want, and are not willing to deal with any B.S. They have jobs, a sense of humor, and independence. They insert quotes like, “Peter Pan complexes need not apply.” “Looking for someone to compliment my life, not complicate it.” “Do something every day that scares you. –Eleanor Roosevelt.” They’re pretty awesome. They’re girls I would be friends with. They’re… just like me. It appears that in our wanna-be big city, there is a pretty big discrepancy between female quality over quantity vs. male quantity over quality.
Sigh. I’m going to be single forever.