I’m about a week in and I’m finding this process to be time consuming.  Every day the website sends you a set of matches based on your preferences, so you’ve got to scroll through the pictures and read the profiles of at least 8 guys.  But at the same time anyone can email or wink at you so you’ve got those to sort through also.  You get notifications when someone is interested in you, when someone likes your pictures, or when someone ‘tags you as their favorite.’  (Side note – To the 49 year old man living in Baltimore with a picture taken in a gas station convenient store: please un-favorite me.  You are scary).  In addition to all of these ways to communicate, you can also instant message people on the site.  So the other night I saw an IM pop up on my screen that happened to be from one of my matches who I thought had some potential.  Not even 3 MINUTES in to the conversation, we have this exchange:

Him: I guess I’m still single because I’m picky

Me: I’ve been told that more than once myself

Him: I’m picky about girl’s feet

Me: That’s funny – I’m picky about guy’s hands

Him: A girl has to have nicely pedicured feet so I can tickle them  🙂

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I signed off immediately.  I find foot fetishes creepy.  And this guy clearly has an intense one, since he felt the needs to mention it during an instant message conversation before we’ve ever actually spoken or met in person.  And the emoticon… I anticipate this will be the subject of an entire blog in the near future.  He has emailed me twice since then and attempted to instant message me again several times.  No, no, no, Twinkle-toes.  You will not be getting your hands on my pretty Lincoln Park After Darks. 

A friend of mine hosted a girls dinner party the other night where my experiment quickly became the topic of conversation.  Of course we had to pull out the laptop so we could scroll through the pictures of my prospects.  This could occupy a group of girls for hours, by the way.  We were rolling on the floor laughing at all the bathroom-mirror shots, white sunglasses, model poses, men on ATV’s, guys in pictures surrounded by a harem of women (what exactly are you going for here?), and then we came across a picture that left us speechless…  a man with a sword.  He was on a beach in full-on karate gear, wielding his sword in a yoga Warrior II position, poised to attack. 

I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.  I’m not that creative.  I’m going to be single forever. 

TPB

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